Some of our favourite quotes...
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell
For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong.
-- HL Mencken
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Be not too hasty to trust or admire the teachers of morality: they discourse like angels but they live like men.
-- Samuel Johnson
A man would rather have a hundred lies told of him, than one truth which he does not wish should be told.
-- Samuel Johnson
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
-- Nicole Hollander
If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Rich Makin
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin
Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
-- Dilbert
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
-– Brendan Francis
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
-- Will Rogers
Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender.
-- Homer Simpson
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
-- David Brent
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
-- William Pitt the Younger
-- Bertrand Russell
For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong.
-- HL Mencken
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Be not too hasty to trust or admire the teachers of morality: they discourse like angels but they live like men.
-- Samuel Johnson
A man would rather have a hundred lies told of him, than one truth which he does not wish should be told.
-- Samuel Johnson
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
-- Nicole Hollander
If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Rich Makin
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin
Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
-- Dilbert
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.
-– Brendan Francis
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
-- Will Rogers
Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender.
-- Homer Simpson
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
-- David Brent
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
-- William Pitt the Younger
...and some of our favourite movie lines...
"It ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
-- Rocky Balboa (2006)
"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here."
-- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the armies of the North, General of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
-- Gladiator (2000)
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude to the problem."
-- Pirates of the Caribbean (2003)
"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads."
-- Back to the Future (1984)
"Some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
-- The Dark Knight (2008)
"Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb. "
-- Spaceballs (1987)
"Losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
-- The Rock (1996)
"Ready your breakfast and eat hearty. For tonight, we dine in hell!"
-- 300 (2006)
"I’ve killed women and children. I’ve killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And now I’m here to kill you, Little Bill."
-- Unforgiven (1992)
"You went full retard. Everyone knows you never go full retard."
-- Tropic Thunder (2008)
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
-- Dodgeball (2004)
"No matter how big a splash you make in this world, whether you’re Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit."
-- Ted (2012)
"Most people think Marv is crazy. He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century."
-- Sin City (2005)
-- Rocky Balboa (2006)
"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here."
-- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the armies of the North, General of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
-- Gladiator (2000)
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude to the problem."
-- Pirates of the Caribbean (2003)
"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads."
-- Back to the Future (1984)
"Some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn."
-- The Dark Knight (2008)
"Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb. "
-- Spaceballs (1987)
"Losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
-- The Rock (1996)
"Ready your breakfast and eat hearty. For tonight, we dine in hell!"
-- 300 (2006)
"I’ve killed women and children. I’ve killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And now I’m here to kill you, Little Bill."
-- Unforgiven (1992)
"You went full retard. Everyone knows you never go full retard."
-- Tropic Thunder (2008)
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
-- Dodgeball (2004)
"No matter how big a splash you make in this world, whether you’re Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit."
-- Ted (2012)
"Most people think Marv is crazy. He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century."
-- Sin City (2005)
Best exchange in a movie by an actor no-one has heard of...
"I will not kneel. Not to a man like you."
"There are no other men like me!"
"There are always men like you."
-- The Avengers (2012)
"There are no other men like me!"
"There are always men like you."
-- The Avengers (2012)
Greatest military put-downs of all time
"'Tis of no matter, sir. I have seen their backs before."
-- Duke of Wellington, when the Mayor of Paris apologised for the French generals who had turned their backs to him during an official visit to Paris.
"I see. Ask him if that includes the ones that are buried there."
-- Lyndon Johnson, upon being told that French President Charles De Gaulle wanted all American soldiers removed from France.
-- Duke of Wellington, when the Mayor of Paris apologised for the French generals who had turned their backs to him during an official visit to Paris.
"I see. Ask him if that includes the ones that are buried there."
-- Lyndon Johnson, upon being told that French President Charles De Gaulle wanted all American soldiers removed from France.
Greatest song lyrics ever written
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by
The flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said:
"The words of the prophets are
Written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence.
-- The Sound of Silence (Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)